Monday, January 31, 2005
cute cute one
i detest people calling me:- berber
[ladies, we all know who this super horizontally compressed version of lum may yee is]
- beebee
[someone at work keeps calling me this. thinking once is not enough it sometimes goes beebee beebee beebee]
- bellebelle
[this is NEW. some prick just walked past me three min ago and called me that]
- xingggggggyan
[with a "teh" voice, celine you better know who this is. i've no qualms with anyone calling me xingyan but just don't do it with that whine please]
- belley
[the infamous cheesefaced character who wrote this offensive "affectionate" name in my hostel flat, i'll never forgive such atrocities. then again, neither could i forgive myself for that blind two day mistake i made six years ago]
why the fuck do you have to multiple a name by two and do it in such a cutesy manner that not only makes me cringe, makes the hair on my neck stand but also results in a deadly viral manifestation of my hatred towards you even if i've never had any before?
so if you happen to meet me on the streets one day and call me by these irritating pseudo affectionate nics, i can guarantee i'll walk past you without the blink of an eye.
btw, no offence to lum may yee, i love that chick and i think she rocks.
bee wrote this at 2:05 PM
the one with the flea market
had a store at zouk's flea mkt yesterday (was randy's booth actually) and suffered a minor surprise attack at the things people bought at our store:- my skirts
they sold like hotcakes, but figured i was an ass to price them too cheap ($3 to $6). then again, stores at the other end of zouk were selling MAX and CO stuff for $15. so how huh? anyway, the printed retro hippie stuff i had at uni were complete sellouts. strange that the lace turqoise top from perth was untouched cos i thought that was a valued flea mkt piece. hmmm.
- my bags
had a couple of old but brand new bags which i thought weren't cool anymore but the chicks bought them anyway. esp the sling bag i bought from HK six years ago and left it untouched since. good thing mom insisted i brought it down anyway. the old sequinned purses i bought at chinatown during my odd days were sold too! haha.
- my perfume samples
apparently these things were highly sought after. the 2 stella samples and a couple of calvin klein and miyake lotions were sold after an hour into the market. dammit, if i knew better, i would've brought the entire basket of freebies i had at home.
- mak's stuff
my man actually sold off, believe this or not:
* a horrendous looking bicycle helmet?!
* a super dodgy looking external cdrom?!
* a second hand VCD player (with no box)?!
* an AO sized singles poster with black frame (ok, this was quite nice)
* old oakley sunnies
* most of his mom's glasswares (nice too)
and to think we thought mak's stuff ain't cool huh? too bad for the blender though.
here's what to sell at the next flea mkt:
- printed skirts
- purses or bags
- oriental looking things (exotic lar)
- small perfume or beauty samples (but u have to sell them cheaper than sasa like a dollar or something)
- glasswares (small handy items and best if you can pretty them up in ribbons etc)
do not sell:
- tops (everyone's selling them, so unless u have good labels and you're willing to let them go at a steal, no one's gonna buy them really)
- sportswear (unless its vintage?)
- books (?!)
- accessories (cos you can never compete with some awesome handmade jewellery designers)
- shoes (they didn't seem to sell well at the other stores)
- toy collectibles (the zouk mkt's largely populated by females trying to suss cheap clothes, bags and accessories)
and there we go! till the next flea mkt and this time, WE WILL GO ALL OUT IN STYLE.
till then, enjoy some fun seen at http://randyang.multiply.com/photos/album/9 and http://abigael.blogspot.com/2005/01/selling-me-mates.html
bee wrote this at 9:40 AM
Friday, January 28, 2005
a new home
pseudo master's broken the 100 day tradition by booking the place which he fell in love with.http://www.everspringproperty.com.sg/location.htm
he fell in love with:
- the laksa stalls round the corner
- the peranakan food down the street
- the what-have-you-foods one can get at rustic katong
- near the east so he can retire and go for morning walks at east coast (?!)
- pool at home so he ain't have to pay for public pools and drink multiple kinds of pee anymore (not that no one's gonna pee in this pool but lesser)
- food, food and more food
she (mom) fell in love with:
- a smaller, quieter and cosier home to live thru old age
- a smaller home with less floor space to clean
- multiple places to ta-pow food home (she hates cooking)
and his little girl devil fell in love with:
- the gym downstairs
- the pool deck for tanning
- the awesome jacuzzi for harsh days
- finally an opportunity to learn swimming
- near her sweetie so cab fares are gonna be cheaper in the future
- can finally invite her buds over for gd ole BBQ and booze chill out
- the fact that she can have two bedrooms and a central bath all to herself. FUCKING AWESOME.
only problem?
how the fuck do we fit the entire rosewood furniture collection (dining table lar, four huge display cupboards lar, sofa and living table set lar) from the current much larger home into a much smaller modernist chic home? i can only imagine a horrific sight. the dining and 2 display cupboards can stay but the sofa and living table set has to go...definite. I WANT A SOFT CUSHY SOFA DAMMIT and i'll pay for it.
bee wrote this at 9:52 AM
being belynda malkovich
pickling bee's mind...compliments of jules again, we both dig this psychoanalysis shit.What is the geekiest part of your music collection?
boy bands
what is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
none really but adoption, prostitution documentaries and the oprah winfrey show can be very weepy.
if you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
liposuction. Could do with a firmer ab, skinner thighs and maybe slimmer ankles. Hey, you offered what!
do you have a completely irrational fear?
my ex grandma (who passed away recently) would go mad and come into our rooms with a chopper and dice the family to pieces. She was a tad... strange.
what is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
bloody fingers and cuticles
do you know anyone famous?
Not on a personal basis. but I do have the following numbers on my dial (work related): jamie yeo, ivan rantung, denise keller and many club events people (for emergencies)
who would play you in a movie?
zhang ziyi in crouching tiger. did i mention i'm fascinated by her face?
what do you carry with you at all times?
mobile and credit cards
what do you miss most about being a kid?
getting away without rationalising nor explaining
what color is your bedroom?
dark, light purple and cream
what was the last song you were listening to?
common people by pulp
have you ever been in a play?
yes and i missed doing it. remembered getting into this catfight when i was fifteen when this asshole fiona fat cat "pseudo director" (i was scriptwriter) who totally changed my acts and lines. the guys in class had to calm us down. [celine, jiayi witnessed this]
have you ever been in love?
yes
do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
yes (cos there're the bad days)
do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
cos not, but they put the guilt in me for taking so many things for granted
what is your ideal marriage location?
outdoors (but sheltered)...my girls would know me. ALWAYS the one with contingencies.
which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
the sax
favorite fabric?
acrylic, knit and tweed. can't decide
what's the one language you want to learn?
french
how do you eat an apple?
like it is
what do you order at a bar?
martinis, vodka mixes, frangelico
have you ever pierced your body parts?
yes
do you have tattoos?
yes
do you drive a stick?
yes
favorite trait of the opposite sex?
lanky torsos with long slim necks. i've got a nasty aversion to short lumpy ones which disappear into the folds of the skin!!! i'm such a mean girl.
what kind of watch do you wear?
timepieces
most frivolous purchase?
a georg jensen necklace which i bought with my first paycheck. worn it twice only.
what are you best at cooking?
no brainer food lar
would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
yes! Fun!
what's one car you will never buy?
proton and hyundai for obvious reasons
what kind of books do you like to read?
psycho thrillers and non-fiction
if you won the lottery, what would you do?
quit my job
do you cry in front of your friends?
only one
what's one thing you like to do alone?
anything goes but i love morning coffee sessions alone. nice and therapeutic.
are you a giver or a taker?
both
when's the last time you cried?
last sunday
how many drinks before you're tipsy?
wine: 2
Beer: 4
Martinis: 6
bee wrote this at 8:41 AM
Thursday, January 27, 2005
the things that drive one nuts
the last thing you need on a sleepy thurs morn is...1. where the hell are the cabs when you need one?
2. boarding a cab with no radio but a chatty driver
3. why does the person in front always order five or more lattes to go?
4. why do students (work related) sms me past nine on weekdays and ring me on saturdays to discuss and confirm issues?
5. how can people presume request forms as confirmation slips?!
6. asshole cabbies who dun give way, cut in front of you and then suddenly stop to alight the passenger leaving you smelling his butt gas.
7. not able to wear any red until 100 days has passed (a chinese tradition after a family member/grandma's passing). so i'm not able to wear my maroon rose pinned to a white tee. so i'm not able to wear this cute red silk top with white roses sewed to the left shoulder. so i'm not able to carry my bohemian pink sling. so i'm not able to wear my red coral necklaces. so i'm not able to wear my cute red flats. so pseudo master's not able to buy a new place in katong which we've been eyeing cos i loved the gym that came with it. selfishness it is.
and so i'm blasting pulp's album to cheer myself up. he was totally awesome when we caught him in perth. his voice is simply...orgasmic. better than the moby gig though the opening act by endorphin totally ROCKED.
btw, check out these sites http://www.playthingspast.com/ba902a.html, http://www.angelfire.com/punk/deprecious/index.html, http://www.spiralandcircle.com/Japanesecollectibles.htm (cute what, esp the cat fries plush ha!). hate to ask this but if any of you know of locally based hello kitty aficionadoes or ringleaders, pls let me know cos i'm trying to reach them (again, i've to stress its work related and i'm sure you guys know me better than that, YOU BETTER).
bee wrote this at 9:09 AM
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
the infamous white cat
do not even ask why i visited this site though i can assure you its work related.here we go, what's lian here is kitsch in the states. why oh why? but darn, ashley jude rocks in the kitty tee.
bee wrote this at 4:08 PM
Monday, January 24, 2005
back story project
did a project inspired by colors and tony three years ago but have never gotten round to building up a site and have sadly shelved it since.What makes you happy?
* Money, sex, most jap stuff (including games, music, merchandise, movie, drama, girls), ohh did I mention sex and money?
* Knowing that my life is not wasted… that I mean something to this huge planet we all live in
* Meeting new people
* Having got some much money that one don't have to work no more.
* knowing I have done a job well, doing silly things with my boyfriend/brother, being out in the open enjoying the cool breeze.
* Depends, Almost anything when its spontaneous.
* Finding what I am looking for
* Being with friends, sense of achievement, money.
What does love mean to you?
* A psychological malady
* To be totally comfortable saying and doing anything in front of that person and having that person feel that way
* Love is not infinite
* Commitment, responsibility and passion.
* Love means trust and care or be taken care of
* Sensation, Jealousy and tears
* Love means giving and giving and forgiving
* When the sheer thought of being with that person brightens up your entire day and when that feeling still exists after 20 years. When his/ her happiness matters more than yours.
* It means being able to be with the one I love and not feel insecure about anything. It’s about being able to be yourself and comfortable with someone and not have to worry about being judged, knowing that the person will love you unconditionally and this doesn’t just apply to a guy / girl relationship
What’s your greatest fear?
* Not being able to be happy
* That we’ll all be incapable of giving loving or receiving love
* Being blind
* Lizards
* Facing myself
* my loved ones, including my chihuahua dying, especially in a car crash.
* being brain dead
* Public speaking
* Being fat and ugly
* time running out! that i still haven't learnt enough, seen enough
* That I will regret not doing what I want in life because of certain circumstances or because I am too much of a wuss to take a chance and live life. And also that I will not live up to my expectations of myself and that I will not get as far as I want to go in life.
big thank yous to chiawei, tony, dom, francis, aggy, adrian, sharon, byden, trish, tam, kim, joanna and dawn for their honest replies.
bee wrote this at 9:51 PM
the one where she fucked up
ever experienced fucking up despite being cautious?what's the dumbest thing a driver of six years can do? nope, didn't run anyone down and neither did anyone hit her bumper. instead, she chose to ram a spanking new SUV into a stationary pole (bolla?). this act of stupidity left the passenger door terribly dented and badly scarred with streaks of yellow. the tears were streaming uncontrollably as her dearest tried his best to calm her hysteria while sitting at his carpark past twelve midnight.
she's never felt any lower in her entire life. what broke her heart was her own stupidity for running into a bloody pole which she obviously knew about and that she wasn't as careful as she was supposed to be.
"drive carefully, be safe" the words of caution from her folks last night before she took off in the harrier.
"DUH, of cos i will" the nonchalant response ringing in her ears...guilty guilty guilty
pseudo master was obviously furious and it pained her more cos he was simmering yet controlling his anger to stop her constant sobs. she cried her entire night to sleep cos she simply couln't forgive herself for such ridiculous fuck-ups, not things that she could've avoided at plain sight. and so she woke up with oriental puffy eyes and signs of a bad gastric (induced from stress?). as she sat in the injured SUV with the master on the way to work, she found herself suffering in silence from the inflammed gastric where it got so bad she couldn't walk up to the office without heaving. and off she went to the doc and back to her comforting bed all curled up for a good rest after four consecutive days of a four hour sleep routine.
bee wrote this at 8:53 PM
much ado about nothing
bee and randy
bee wrote this at 4:46 PM
randy and mak
bee wrote this at 4:31 PM
mak and abi
went to meet mak, abi and randy at dhoby's atrium pabulum. excellent place for chill out cos the guys have been there sitting on their asses for like four hours brainstorming on installation concepts for the photographers' part 2 exhibit for mercy relief. with a few rather all-out ideas, the guys decided to stop brainstorming and simply chill. boredom has its way of breeding avant garde fun. abi started snapping pics of us with copy/ headlines from the latest IS mag. lest to say, it got the two dudes rolling round with laughter and ta-dah, evidence of our lazy friday afternoon compliments of abi's super sexy contax.
bee wrote this at 4:20 PM
booze at bala
that's ming, mak and randy. the bala people must be thinking we're nuts for moving tables three times during the night. we started out on a small table for four, moved on to a long table for eight and discovered it wasn't condusive for group conversations and moved again to the bigger square tables with high chairs. THEN we found an empty sofa space and finally parked out tired butts for the rest of the night. so much for being tired when we've done practically nothing. we must be aging faster than we thought. ouch.
bee wrote this at 3:50 PM
much ado about boob holders
fitting room at tangs
found this lovely lace green top with the pretty ribbon detail at alannah hill on fri. just in time for my girlfren's ROM this tues. was a good thing i didn't buy the outfit cos mom mentioned i shouldn't be going for any celebratory events till 100 days's passed (grandma's passing). so now i'm gonna have to buy suann lunch at mezzanine hyatt to make up for lack of attendance on her special day, lack of angpow and lack of pressie. total bummer.
found this interesting brassiere concept at some teenage outlet [entrenched in lian techno, at times canto pop with throngs of young girls in supra short skirts]. in case you're wondering, its called far east plaza. no offence, i'm beginning to like that place for its young local designers (realm has some excellent pieces, and this swimwear shop has such as amazing range of affordable bikinis). digressed. this cute innovation's called flutterfly, kinda like the triump or wacoal shit where u stick the strap/backless bra to your boobs. it looks totally dodgy for that amount of money. anyhow, you can visit www.boobshop.net if you're interested in new brassiere technologies. their showroom's visually arresting with cool stuff. it's fucking amazing how much R&D's put into making something that serves to conceal little bits from sticking out. wowee.
bee wrote this at 3:48 PM
Thursday, January 20, 2005
east west hocus pocus
http://www.tigerbeer.us/horoscope/ link compliments of jules.chinese zodiac: horse
english horoscope: scorpio
You are an exciting person to know. Your approach to life is intense but controlled. You will also reveal your deepest secrets more easily than most of your sign, especially if you can shock folks and shake up the status quo. Unlike most people, you welcome sudden changes and thrive when forced to deal with unforeseen circumstances.
You need a career that involves originality. Scientific research would suit you well, provided you are able to work independently. You'd also make a good character actor, taking on small but memorable parts that get you noticed widely. You might also do well in advertising, devising clever campaigns that have never been seen before. Ultimately, you need a job that allows you to put an unusual spin on your duties. Performing predictable routine work will only dull your enthusiastic spirit.
You prefer having a few intimate friends to understand your peculiarities [love for vintage and other people's treasured accessories]. 'Taureans, Cancerians, Scorpios, and Pisceans probably receive the lion's share of your affection. In love, you need a partner who is calm, cool, and collected. Anyone who can soothe your restless spirits would make you a fantastic mate.
Your greatest challenge is to slow down. You have so many ideas that it's hard for you to rest. At some point, you may have to shelve some of your plans in favor of contentment. Your biggest strength is your originality. There is little threat of you going along with the popular view. You're capable of thinking for yourself and will never fall victim to manipulation.
Quite often, you will retreat to your own private world where friends and family can't reach you. Your reclusive ways help you to regenerate your spirits. An unusual person like you tires easily from mixing with large groups of people. Therefore, you often go off on your own, simply as a means to reconnect with your unique spiritual essence [oh! my beloved coffee sessions with myself on weekend mornings]. The people closest to your heart understand this need and will back off when you say the word.
bee wrote this at 2:48 PM
permanancy
is there such a word? have decided to put to a stop to my whines and keep them to myself. you could say something triggered that move, and no, its not a joe gordon thingy and i won't get fired for this blog (or i think). it's become rather personal lately. you can call me suspicious (i'm a friggin scorpio), you can call me overly-sensitive, you can even say i'm paranoid but i'm a wo-man afterall. i do get affected by people and emotions easily and i always like to think of worse off scenarios that would work to comfort my soul should certain things really happen. don't we all? that's probably why i don't make good financial decisions cos i always invest with "losing" in the mind. emotions are a volatile thing and i wished i could better control them. this is the third thread today i've written and yet the first that's published. there're so many issues running in my already tight spaced mind filled with fourteen new briefs yesterday. freaking ludicrous. my agent just mailed me a note on medical records. so there...another step forward towards permanancy somewhere but not singapore.bee wrote this at 9:06 AM
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
come what may
i can see the direction i'm headed with the countless exasperated thoughts andi can foresee myself throwing in the towel in a fit of frustration and impatience and
i can foresee myself being kicked in the ass by the other me for being jumpy and irrational but
i can also foresee myself doing the mature thing by holding on for one simple and most crucial reason that held my sanity for the past four years and
i will hang in there despite prophesizing 101 scenarios.
bee wrote this at 9:55 AM
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
dreams
been tackling a spate of weird dreams lately.1) was supposed to take a train to destination X. there were two different trains. one kinda like a long distance train on ground tracks (probably remnants of my russian repin) and another a typical SMRT several stories high. entered some underground station and couldn't speak their language and no one offered to help despite my pleas. oh, it was NYE and my heart broke watching millions of people celebrating and yet i had to find a way of boarding some train to destination X. a old hippie finally spoke english and we came outta that tunnel via some unfathomable means ala being john malkovich when they shot out onto a grass patch from the sky. damn fucking weird.
analysis: To see a train in your dream, represents conformity and go along with what everyone else is doing. You have the need to do things in an orderly and sequential manner. In particular, if you see a freight train, then it refers to the burdens and problems that you are hauling around. To dream that you are on a train, is symbolic of your life's journey and suggests that you are on the right track in life and headed for the right direction. Alternatively, you have a tendency to worry needlessly over a situation that will prove to work out in the end. To dream that you miss a train, denotes missed opportunities or nearly escaping your death. DID I JUST MISS AN OPPORTUNITY OR DEATH??!
2) someone threw all my shoes out and i was bloody pissed, especially my well worn well loved black marc jacobs. did i mention pseudo master tried to be smarty pants and washed my leather shoes with his dirty trainers cos he thought my shoes were dirty? he gave me $800 after that fiasco to get my shoes repaired. DUH. oh well...
analysis: In general, shoes represent your approach to life. It suggests that you are well-grounded or that you are down to earth. It also represents your convictions about your beliefs. To see old and worn shoes in your dream, signifies that through diligence and hard work, you will find success. It may also mean that you have come to grips with accepting who you are. Alternatively you may be on a life path that is unfamiliar to you. You may be dealing with issues concerning your self-identity. Thus if you dream that you lose your shoes, then it suggests that you may be searching for your identity and finding/exploring who you are.
3) dreamt of perth again with my girlfrens and bled my heart out when a very special someone left me. woke up crying and had to look back on the smses and pictures next to my bed for some form of reassurance. bloody hell depressing for a tuesday morning.
analysis: To dream about your waking relationships, indicates wish-fulfillment. In your dream state, you may be able to confront issues that you would normally ignore or are afraid of bringing up. Compare your dream relationship with your waking relationship
bee wrote this at 9:07 AM
Monday, January 17, 2005
hello hello hello
was having lunch with my ex copywriter lip and ran into a great deal of people at my beloved amoy street today.1. james (ex cd), kelly (ex copy) and unidentified dude most likely a new creative
2. joel (ex AD)
3. rita (ex SAM)
4. kan, wan, chai huat (ex studio) and eric (ex cheena chee kor pek AD)
all within an hour. nice!
bee wrote this at 2:38 PM
resolutions
realised that i've never given this much thought for the longest time. was just reminded of it by celine's entry. not that i can resolve some of them but here's it anyway.the do-ables:
* to eat 3 proper meals and skip the kettle chips for brekkie
* to curse less
* to get a golden tan at the next bali trip
* to exchange more pleasantries with morons encountered at work
* get back on track for yoga
* cut back on cigarettes
* cut back on alcohol (easy peasy, i've only consumed toxic once or twice for the past few weeks)
* be a little nicer to screeching kids
* be a little more tolerant of inconsiderate people (including those who borrow your lighters and not return them)
the challenging:
* to be more patient on the road and not run down blind cocky pedestrians
* learn to behave and be patient to squeaky voiced slow talkers over the phone who make you repeat everything you say at least twice and not understand anything at all at the end of the painful conversation.
* to go jogging at east coast park every sunday
* to learn swimming
* subscribing to the yuppie gym membership (will prob end up not utilising it to its max unless i have a motivated gym partner. anyone up for this?)
bee wrote this at 11:39 AM
mindless blogging part two
14 jan fri nightmet sweets and went to tampines mall for oceans twelve. it's bloody far but its the only theatre (other then empress??) screening the film still. wasn't as clever as eleven but the pitt man's still as gorgeous as ever. loved the stereotypical scene of pitt and clooney vegging out at the tv. men...
15 jan sat
met sonja for tea at spinellis heeren and ran into netty and hubby. i swear we're too old for that place plus that obvious fact that this particular spinelli outlet's got the crappiest service. i've never hestitated whining bout their unfriendly barristas and diluted lattes to my fav ones at far east square. anyway. was good catching up cos i've been a proscrastinator and am terribly ashamed of it. trish joined us from her meeting at dubliners (yeah right). the girls agreed to have a karaoke session (in english of cos) next sat crooning to grad tunes of our times (ala NKOTB, tommy page, wilson phillips, bananarama ahahaha). cos we're having alcohol but we're doing it the good ole cheap uni way by having pre karaoke drinks at sonja's place. who wants to fork out 120 bucks for a bott of whisky anyway? puhlease.
met mak at seven and we trooped over to gallery evason for ernest's exhibition on mercy relief. headed over to zion rd market for dinner (despite stuffing my face with finger fd at the gallery). we're kinda past the clubs these days and took a vote to chill at randy's studio instead. trish took off for velvet but ended up back home snoring. great. anyway, some played pool and some chilled amidst the photographer book club. oh! mak almost got picked up by a babe (model somemore ha!) but ruined his own chances by joking that he's"half married". hey, not my fault sweetie you "pichia lobang" yeah. *hyuk*
16 jan sun
started the day crappy when pseudo master refused to change the foot reflexology timings giving 101 reasons like "must pay penalty" (wtf, this's not a flight ticket lor think i'm three years old issit?) and endless grumbling of "your daughter's forever not keeping her word, your daughter's always so disorganized etc etc"(to mom) excuse me but i'm your daughter too, oh whatever. good thing i anticipated such reactions and called ben (the reflexologer, he's excellent). pseudo master kept his silence after ben breezily changed the timings. jeez.
had a good expresso brownie session with mom and met mak at blood bros cafe paragon. i love the desserts there. headed for din with mom at tony romas (awesome salads) and chilled at mak's place for the apprentice. marianne was there with her family (my poly mate who attends the same church as mak's family) and phoebe's as adorable as ever. was an informal birthday celebration for mak's mom and was pissed at him for not telling me (he mentioned this morning its in Jan but didnt say its tonite?!). was embarrassed empty handed. tsk. gonna wring his ears the next time i see him.
17 jan mon
woke up with another puzzling dream bout someone who threw ALL my shoes out. wtf. was expecting an avalanche of mails from the client but surprise surprise. zilch. hmmm.
bee wrote this at 9:07 AM
Thursday, January 13, 2005
she.
just when one thinks her day's been terrible, she gets a nice email from her teamhead telling her "great work done". it's the little actions that brighten things up. although she may not know if this is the best way to go but at least she knows this is something she can do good at.everyone's got a field of interest.
guess her specialty is her way with certain people.
she may not know much bout the gallery world, she may not know much bout appreciating nor creating buildings, she may not know much bout the 101 tips on photography, she may not know the planets around earth at her finger tips, she may not know how to swim, she may not know how to make coffee from scratch even if she's addicted to it, she may not know how to cycle, she may not know how to be at ease around children, she may not know how to cook, bake or sew her own clothes, she may never like sports and camping, she may not appreciate graphic design or old school artistry, she may not know much bout the world other than current affairs, writing, advertising and fashion.
but she reckons its comforting to know she can drive and handle big huge cars, she can walk away from painful things and stand up again on her own, she can earn her own comfortable keep, she can learn things on her own, she has never deliberately let any of her teammates down through the four years of gruelling work, she can accept responsibility for her team when things go wrong and not point fingers, she can handle all household machinery, she appreciates talented contemporary artists, she can make her own decisions and stick by them, she can be tough and unforgiving, she can one fine day be on her own and her loved one sipping that cuppa in melbourne.
bee wrote this at 3:00 PM
the strange things in life
strange how a phone call within singapore can sound so distant.strange how a simple how are you call could turn into one that wished it didn't after all.
strange how things always take a departure when one thinks its all bright and cheery.
strange how one tries to help and it backfires.
strange how the little things do break one's spirit.
strange how at times one feels so hollow and dejected one can't pour anything out anymore.
it's been a sad day.
bee wrote this at 11:42 AM
daddy's little girls
met the ladies for dinner at hooters (yes. overheard two sleazeballs asking for "women" at the next table. hell. the waiters may be dressed in too short shorts and spilly boobs but please do not assume they will sleep with you after the restaurant closes. fuckwits. one of the ladies told them to head to TOP TEN.)see celine's take on thisdigressed. the ladies had an interesting night comparing the senile signs of the father figures. so we have dads who:
- borrow daughter's ab fab stuff and denounced it useless after three days cos he still had a tummy
- wear black religious robes round the house for unfathomable reasons
- are sore losers in any form of arguments or conversations
- simply lack the most basic form of communication with their little girls
- are getting so aged they dabble with any little thing in the house and nag at every possible occasion (more than moms)
- are so freaking anal about "dirtiness" that you cannot place your dirty things (like handbags) on their properties (ala dining table tops)
- are experts on everything and anything (even when their experiences are likely dated by now) and we should always listen to their advice
- have amazing superman listening powers to throw in a few of their "opinions" even when he's not within the conversation zone in the first place (like two rooms away)
- refuse to wear bermudas or anything other than pants cos the world's not allowed to see their skinny hairy legs
- insist that one has to dress proper when in town (no sandals, it's gotta be proper socks and covered shoes)
- spy on their daughters cos they think you're always hiding something from them
- wonder if their little girl's gonna send them to the home for the aged
whatever happened to the good ole daddy's little girl?
bee wrote this at 9:30 AM
the pensive one
how empty can a person ever feel?why does one feel the constant need to come up for air?
how long can one race neverending laps?
what can one do when she realises certain things in life are simply not meant to be hers?
what does one do when she hears anecdotal examples given with good intentions but ended up being hurtful?
can she race against time to find that certain something?
can that certain something serve as evidence of progress?
how long can one wait for a certain something?
at times, she loses herself and her grasp on optimism.
cos reality most times speak a different story.
bee wrote this at 9:11 AM
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
airy fairy
a positive way to start the 2005...reading positive horoscopes for the new year [i don't care how (un) reliable the sources are] and yes, my birthday happens to fall on that crack where i've an identity crisis, torn between the scorpion stingers and at times the sagians. so i tend to read both horoscopes and do selective reading by absorbing the good stuff outta each. we're women, we're entitled to silliness like these so bugger off. in the meantime, i'll bask in the rosy 2005 prophecies to brighten up this glum blue day.Scorpio in 2005 - Transmutation
Scorpio, you can still expect changes - perhaps major ones in your life this year, almost to the point of total transformation. While this is most apparent in the area of your career, you'll see it showing up in other important aspects of your life. Your life might take on an entirely new direction you've never dreamed of. You may also change your residence during the year [does this mean i'll get the apartment or am i moving to melbourne?]. Whether you start the year as a single person looking for a partner, or you've been married for many years, happiness in love does lie ahead. Be prepared for new horizons [oh gosh, i'm excited already]. They may not be familiar, but they will be fascinating. Don't cling to the banks; instead, flow with the tide in 2005.
Sagittarius in 2005 - Empowerment
Are you prepared to handle absolute power? If not, you will be soon! Your ruling planet, Jupiter, will be in a special relationship with Pluto - called "mutual reception" - in 2005. There's so much punch packed into this combination that it's almost scary. You'll find the ultimate power is the ability to choose your own destiny. You'll find practical ways of increasing your effectiveness in the world by gaining new skills that allow you to live more abundantly. By the second half of the year, you will finally feel welcome relief from the tight financial binds that have hindered you over the past two years [i won the lotto???]. And, a relationship you begin now will last a very long time - like, for the rest of your life. Overall, 2005 is sure to be a year you won't forget.
bee wrote this at 5:23 PM
a trip worth exploring
http://www.concentrationcampguide.com/i'll love to visit hiroshima when i do my japan trip soon. will keep europe after i've resigned cos i'll have more time on my hands. will see...will see.
bee wrote this at 1:57 PM
a foul morning
the car ride this morning with pseudo master (pm) riddled with small spats.spat one
started by a comment on his new shirt.
"is that a new shirt?" [b]
"yes...cos ah ma passed away and we cannot wear bright colors. red, orange, browns." [pm]
"...but brown's not with the red family. it's a neutral color, like the beige and khakis" [b]
"no, brown is like red. you young people mix things up. you're actually not allowed to wear brown now" [pm]
"...(wtf?) so does mean i should take your example and wear NEW everything cos i can't wear neutral shades like brown anymore? don't you realise that you're mourning and shouldn't even be wearing NEW stuff cos it means you're "celebrating"?" [nasty b]
"...no, you're wrong" [pm]
"ya lar ya lar. i'm always wrong." [b]
the fumes were blowing like steam off my ears. nevermind.
spat two
started ten minutes after the first. triggered by a comment made by some dj about celebs like uma thurman, george clooney donating to the tsunami victims. apparently, pseudo master is now pseudo judge of moral issues.
"they should have donated earlier, why only now, these rich celebs ah..." [pm]
"??...what makes you think they didn't donate earlier?" [b]
"i know they didn't. what's the point of donating now? i mean yes it's better late than never but now?" [pm] DO YOU NOT SEE THE CONTRADICTING POINTS IN HIS ARGUMENTS???
"as long as they've donated, it's considered an act of kindness and generousity, what's your problem?" [b]
"i'm only commenting, i wasn't criticising." [pm] from his condesending tone, he definitely was not merely commenting.
"did you donate to the tsunami mercy relief then?" [b]
"...(hesitates)..yeah i did but dunno which one" [pm]
"you only gave to the renci charity cos mom told me, it's not to the tsunami victims" [b]
"whichever. but i'm not rich and was busy with ah ma's funeral arrangements" [pm]
"fair enough but that's not the point. it doesn't matter how rich you are cos two dollars's seen as a donation too. as for ah ma, yes i know you're busy but you could have donated to the tsunami relief when you made the donation to renci home right?" [b]
"did YOU donate then?" [pm]
"no" [b]
"then why talk so much? [pm]
"if you realised i DIDN'T make that criticism on others. YOU DID. my point being you shouldn't criticise others when you haven't done that particular thing yourself." [b]
"but as i've mentioned, it's only a comment, not a criticism...blahblahblah" [pm]
"oh whatever" [b]
FUMES big time
i need to start looking for apartments, he's driving me nuts. no offence, i love my dad but i reckon we can get along better if we saw each other on a weekly basis instead of daily.
bee wrote this at 9:20 AM
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
the one that made me sit up
at the shoot
bee wrote this at 10:55 PM
sit up? and why?
ms bee
had a shoot for a feature article this evening and realised how i could never be a model or talent or whatever. for some really fucked up reason, i find myself stiffening up in front of the cameras and gosh, ended up taking much longer than others to get the "right expression". apparently my eyes were real tiny when i smiled with teeth but that's genetic cos pseudo master's afflicted with similar slitty eyed syndrome too. so i had a challenging task of smiling widely AND keeping my eyes open. now how do i do that without looking puzzled? oh well. i was quite embarrassed by my lack of spontaneity in terms of body language too. am i camera shy then? nah. cos i've shamelessly taken countless self portraits over the years as witnessed here. strange phenomenon but i had my fun anyway.
but that aside. what made me sit up more was how fat i looked in the studio pictures. i had a fucking VISIBLE DOUBLE CHIN and wobbly arms from the jpegs. i need to lose at least five fucking kilos from this moment. can better understand yoanna's paranoia over her weight issues now. for the cavemen's benefit, yoanna's from the reality series america's next top model where she lost like twenty pounds to compete with 9 other model wannabes. ok, no more official shoots till i lose the five kilos.
btw, the three shameless portraits seen were taken after the shoot to prove myself wrong bout the fucking double chins. i dun particularly care if this blog made me sound like an ah lian or bimb but the extra chin's SO NOT FUNNY. waitaminute, it could be the damnin genetics at work again cos the maternal side's got a strong history of The Chins.
why oh why?
bee wrote this at 10:49 PM
concessions
what do people always ring us assuming:1) we can give special price offs client's products
2) we can give freebies on top of their personal purchases
3) we can give endless prizes related to client's products
4) we can loan them products and games and write them off as bad debt
and all for peanuts in return?
do we get...
1) media coverage?
2) mass exposure?
3) barter benefits for use in the future?
so if we don't get some of the above returns, how the fuck do YOU expect us to give you big big discount lar, unlimited free premiums lar, latest free games lar.
SHEESH. it's not a fucking wet market here dudes.
bee wrote this at 10:19 AM
Monday, January 10, 2005
the special moment
tired sweetie
as her loved one sits at his office desk right now ready to work the night through, here she is blogging her night away. how utterly shameless she feels for this self-indulgence. and how she misses her poor tired man. life would be good if she could give him a hug now.
bee wrote this at 10:45 PM
the art of a good dump
sheraton kowloon
those who've seen my helsinki pics over shutterfly would probably suspect my fixation with well-designed bathrooms. as unglam as it sounds, i've a weakness for marble and glass which's deemed "ordinary" by many. but i love mosaics too! i loved hotel kamp the way i l loved sheraton in kowloon and the shang in kl. the bath is the most important aspect of any hotel room for ms bee. even her well-behaved bowels recognise that and would maintain its decorum by withholding "stuff" until the next decent toilet comes along so her owner ain't have to spend time holding her breath and laying countless rolls of toilet paper across the bowl. disclaimer: excludes tragic cases of uncontrolled spurts brought on by food poisoning.
wish i could bring finnish and japanese public hygiene to singapore. esp to the morons who:
- make their kids step on toilet bowls ledges and not bothering to wipe the shoe prints off
- pee over the toilet seat. excuse me but we're all females so how can YOU possibly pee all over the place...unless you too were standing on the toilet edge???!
- don't flush properly. is it so terribly hard to hang round for a wee two more seconds to ensure all your stuff's being flushed down properly and no little bits floating around?
- dispose of sanitary pads properly. eh, what on earth makes you think the rest of the world enjoys your bloody sight?
we're not a third country where at times people are still not exposed to modern city lifestyles yadda yadda. this is singapore. if you can keep your house spick and span, i don't see why you can't keep the public toilets clean.
bee wrote this at 10:11 PM
the new year blues
* woke up with awful gastric pangs ringing in my stomach.* arrived at work to find myself secretly pleased that a certain shit stirrer culprit is no longer in sight
* opened the long dreaded mailbox to find it flooded with "to dos".
* discovered with great annoyance that the email was not set to "autoreply" while i'm away despite REPEATED instructions to ensure its being done.
* finding myself sending countless replies apologising for the tardy replies cos no one knew i was on leave due to the inefficiency of certain people.
oh whatever.
bee wrote this at 9:00 AM
Saturday, January 08, 2005
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THE notorious train
bee wrote this at 10:20 PM
our scandinavian adventure
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helsinki, finland on first day
bee wrote this at 10:20 PM
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russia
bee wrote this at 8:50 PM
santa's land
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finland
gonna take the easy way out and do a chronological blog:
26 dec
- left singa land for santa's groovy hometown (not rovaniemi lar, just helsinki only)
27 dec
- arrived in helsinki wee hours five am and headed straight to the city railway to dump our bags into the locker
- did a half day city orientation on foot
- arrived at railway station at 3.15pm before train's departing at 3.42pm.
- headed to the train platform and noticed the electronic board at the platform displaying a weird name (not st petersburg), mak was walking towards the inspector when to our most absolute horror, the train rang its bells, shut its doors and left dusty farttrails filling the two open-mouthed nincompoots wondering if they'd just missed the 50euros per person train ride to russia. thank god they didn't. apparently, the myriad platforms services tens and dozens of trains coming and going to all nooks and corners of finland and russia. and hence the two relieved ninnies boarded the REPIN safe and sound after a ciggie cigar session to calm their nerves. btw, there's zero leg room on board the train. we're like knee caps to knee caps for seven hours.
- met a russian train inspector who was secretly delighted to find two chinese dudes on board. why? so that he can show off his perfect beijing mandarin. he was so fucking good we had to struggle to listen to the china accent. he studied chinese at uni wor...hmmm, yes. the yellows are mighty impressed and a tad embarassed when the white speaks better mandarin than they do.
- arrived in russia st petersburg at ten. realised again to our horror that finlandsky metro station is no longer in use. thank goodness again we met two kind souls on board REPIN and we're really greatful to niZA for guiding us to LARDVOSKY station and paying our metro stubs (we didn't have roubles then).
- arrived at st petersburg international hostel
(after a few missed turns due to an idiotic russian policeman who gave wrong directions) and almost cried when:
* i had to climb four stories carrying the heavy backpack and bedsheets ok, my girlfrens would be so TOTALLY PROUD OF ME, celine and trish, this one's for you, i made it! : )
* discovering the communal bath on the ground floor only
* discovering the communal toilet on the third floor only. so effectly speaking, i had to run down four stories, take my shower, go pee on the third floor should i need to during the night and run back up to the fourth floor in the all too dark bulb flickering staircase in the cold?!?
* i stepped into the bare hostel room (it was just like the youth hostel in perth, can't remember the island)
all these after thirteen hours on the plane, seven hours on the train and half hour on the metro and streets in search of the hostel in zero degrees.
28 dec
- missed breakfast cos we forgot russia had a different time zone from finland. DARN. it's ok.
- headed to the bank to change USD to roubles. they've still got a communist banking system. we had to wait in line outside the bank cos they only allow a max of two entries at the counters only. terok.
- walked round st petes on foot. russia's an absolute beauty, the place and the beauty. READ: RUSSIAN WOMEN ARE GORGEOUS. and all that fur was stunning for someone who lived in tees and singlets.
29 dec
- woke up in time for brekkie (its cereal, toast, cheese and boiled egg everyday)
- visited some churches like "our savoir on the blood" and museums (russian state museum) ala usual tourist routine.
- russia surprisingly had really modern looking babes and not forgetting the american biggies like KFC and pizza huts and the occasional BMW X5s.
- it was difficult getting good food in russia cos we've zero knowledge of russian and many good small eateries don't do the picture menu shit. darn. but we found a good russian eating place near our hostel. it's cosy and the food's awesome, esp the soups.
- my sweetie got all egoistic when he discovered mackers in russia was named after him "makdonalds". oh well. men.
30 dec
- visited the hermitage, its freaking huge and its gawdy. sorry, as much as its impressive architecture and history, the grandoise art masterpieces were at times too much for my limited artistic consumption (i'm a city person who's very much delighted by contemporary art rather than traditional exhibits by the old masters).
- did more walking tours and attempted the flea markets. damn, the russian flea markets sure work differently from the asian ones like bali and hong kong. sensing fresh money (from two asian suckers), the things at the market were exorbitant (kinda like shopping mall prices in sing dollars) and they didn't bother lowering the prices despite our efforts to walk away. oh well. no loss i guess.
- we finally witnessed snowfall!!! (it was ice when we got there)
- did some packing and realised (thank goodness) at ten pm that we left money and train tics in the safe with the receptionist. good grief. if we hadn't remembered, we would've missed the train cos the receptionist doesn't come in till nine the next day and the damn security guard (on 24hrs) couldn't speak a word of russian. big relief.
31 dec
- woke up at four in the morning to complete packing for our train at 7.32am. i'm paranoid.
- sure enuff, at five plus close to six, my sweetie completely freaked me out when he couldn't find the train departure forms (the russians need to collect them back for you-know-what purposes). oh god...this is my greatest nightmare. we spent twenty min looking for it and finally found it in mak's bag...WHEW. left the hostel later than predicted and was suffering a minor panic attack. what if the metros are delayed. what if we cannot find the right platform. what if what if what if? these trains are fucking punctual lor.
- got to the station on time andthe train took off at 7.32am SHARP. met the chinese speaking russian inspector who called us his "friends". er..ok..
- arrived in helsinki (civilisation) at 2-3 plus noon. could finally drink tap water now.
- checked into hostel mekka, met two other backpackers (orlando from mexico and carlos from guatamala) and headed off to NYE countdown at the senate square. firework displays were called off due to the tsunami tragedies.
- trooped over to helsinki club cos it was highly recommended by some people and honestly the site looked pretty decent damn bad choice should've headed to the rave party at the cable factory instead. helsinki club had a long line so we assumed it had to be not bad. the music was alright when we first entered, had some pseudo trance house stuff going with a dj playing CDs (wah lau eh) and some finnish chicks dressed as geishas. as the night grew, the music got so bad they were playing fucking awful retro. its not good fun stuff ala mambo night where you can do a return to college uni jiggly wigglys. this was madonna's like a prayer, followed by michael jackson's billie jean and some old MOS stuff followed immediately by another crap 80s track. wtf?!? oh, got myself molested when this dude grabbed my boob (we're all taking pics with strangers for NYE fun). was too shocked and at a loss for words. oh well. there probably ain't much for him to feel anyway. *rolls eyes* saw a bunch of real ugly asian prostitutes guarded by 2 big weird chinese dudes soliciting caucasian men on the ground floor (ala what you see in typical amercian chinese kung fu shit where there's this big short muscualr asian man and a mini me like short dude who're prob pimps). fucking waste of eighty sing dollars that nite but at least we had a good laugh :)
1 jan
- visited design museum (versace homage)
- walked round helsinki on foot
- waited around for drinks and got too sleepy, i swear the winter brings out the pig in us cos i ain't like this in KL nor bali. anyhow mak went out with carlos for hot dogs and booze at molly malones. and i couldn't sleep anyway cos was waiting up for sweetie.
2 jan
- moved into the luxurious hotel kamp and could finally take a dump in peace. it felt weird experiencing this luxury (turn down service, welcome fruit platter, manicure sets) after the nightmarish hostel in russia *hahaha*!
- walked around more on foot and tram
3 jan
- visited uni of helsinki technology (went to the wrong uni assuming it was "helsinki uni" which was round the corner, had to take a cab costing 14 euros cos we were late) and had the most boring lecture on the history of the uni
- mak felt bad for putting me thru the boring lecture and took me shopping (YAH! that perked me up immediately). he found this cool marimekko sling bag to replace his brown leather one which he lost in a cab some time back. but it was pretty hefty so we decided to have a think bout it first.
- bought tons of chocs for my girls.
- went to storyville, a popular jazz club. lovely swing and romantic crooner jazz. was such a beauty watching the snowfall with jazz in the background and booze in my hand. i'll never forget that instant where life was worth living for at that moment.
4 jan
- visited the markets and found a marimekko bag for myself at a steal of twenty five euros only! awesome.
- went for a private tour of the alvar aalto home and studio . the director was really nice and mak came home with a free book on finnish architecture.
- booked dinner at lappi restaurant (our one and only expensive food treat during the trip) for a sinful taste of reindeer. mak had sauteed reindeer and me salmon (couldn''t bring myself to eat the pet responsible for sending us gifts)
- went to fazer and bought 2 slices of good stuff (choc cakes)
5 jan
- went to our final meeting on the trip, the finnish architecture museum where we met the sweetest director ever, mr severi blomstedt who gave sweets many books, drove us to the outskirts of helsinki and bought us delish italian lunch and filled us with interesting bits of finnish history, culture and politics.
- went for some late night shopping and reminded sweetie if he wanted to get his marimekko bag. was deliberating it over a pair of shoes, a cool looking watch or the bag. he finally decided on the bag and we would get it the next day since its our last day and wanted to take it easy by shopping and relaxing over coffee.
6 jan
- woke up with anticipation of a great round up for the trip (shopping and coffee) and realised to our HORROR that it's a PUBLIC holiday in finland and ALL STORES are closed.
- our hearts fell immediately and the day was filled by tram taking and cafe hopping. my heart broke for sweets who's not able to buy his beloved bag. SOB.
we've also got cool video footage of:
- russian metro doors (its fucking cool!)
- russian metro elevators (at least 100m deep and bout the height of a 14 story or more HDB flat, no shit)
- russian streets (recorded from sitting at cafe)
- snow in st petersburg
- cool toilet in finland (resembles the japanese ones and the finnish are very hygienic people, everything's so clean)
which're unfortunately too huge a file for mailing and posting, so will have to show you guys when we catch up soon.
and there you go, our little adventure to the scandinavia.
bee wrote this at 8:44 PM
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
the little luxury called the box
we've been cut off from our daily dose of media ever since we've started on this trip. yeah, we've heard newsy bits from other americans and ozzies at the hostel but nothing beats watching CNN on tv again. was only then we realised the vast damage of the tsunami in asia. damn.quick update. am living in luxury at hotel kamp in helsinki now. we damn well deserved that after a harrowing (to someone who hardly backpacks) six nights in a backpackers hostel. the rooms were dingy and the communal bathrooms were gross. it was a real pain running across the hall in your pjs at 4 in the morning shivering to 2 degrees. i'm sorry mate, but the last thing you need is to walk into an depressing room after 13 hours on the plane and 7 consecutive hours on the russian trains with no fucking leg space?! but hey, i'm seriously considering backpacking to japan sometime this year.
am clearing my bloody pacnet mailbox now. why the fuck am i paying monthly bills to spend 30% of my precious net time clearing hot sex spams?
bee wrote this at 1:31 AM
