Thursday, July 08, 2004
Self-recovery checklist
2 June 2001, Saturday, 12.30am.Is the pain here to stay?
It’s excruciatingly hard and emotionally painful trying to let go of the past. I’ve come to realise that one has to let go of the past by forgiving oneself first. It is only then that we can eventually move on with our respective lives.
Reading self-therapy books only helps in identifying the stage I’m in at this point in time. According to the book of “still in love and not over it” symptoms, I’ve fulfilled enough to slap myself for residing in the last stages of break-up.
One: Drinking too much (the bartenders know u on a first name basis and your favourite mixers.)
Two: Watching movies alone (amidst the stares of narrow minded singaporeans who think single people at theatres are psychos)
Three: Lonely café days (writing the depressing thoughts in your journal)
Four: Checking the phone for messages in a compulsive mode (every 5 min, i could've sworn the mobile vibrated).
Five: Calling him to tell him how much I missed him (only once when I was really pissed)
Six: Still calling him out (on the pretext of "simple dinners").
Seven: Pretending to message him wrongly on the pretext that he’d answer (superbly desperate attempt to hear his voice).
Eight: Clubbing excessively (losing yourself in the night)
Nine: Eating alone (cos you can't bear to talk to anyone).
Ten: Crying before I go to bed every night (and resulting in the oriental single eyelids).
Eleven: Not able to erase his number totally (which i've written down in an old phone book for old times sake).
bee wrote this at 12:20 AM
