Wednesday, August 18, 2004

18 august. my nightmare.

of my four years in the crazy blood pressurising role of a suit in ad agencies, i've always managed to convey positivity by managing "expectations" of the sometimes difficult client. weighing decisions and making sure priorities are maintained.

for the first time in these fours years have i ever felt this lost and miserable. in my anxiety to keep the client at bay, i've broken servicing rule 101. NEVER MAKE PROMISERY CLAIMS. but i did. and i'm now finding myself in the most frustrating position due to my lack of efficiency in management.

why? cos i could've avoided all these shit if
i used my reliable supplier and earned less profit.
i HAD more time keeping a tighter hold on the planning.
i had the extra help i've been screaming for from the project's inception.
my superiors understood i'm only me. and me is not enough to take all these by herself as much as she would've liked to. cos she is human and is prone to the occasional forgetfulness due to undue stress.

above all that, the saddest part was not being able to rest my tired body physically and mentally. i discovered to my horror this morning that my swollen calves were not as minor as thought of initially. its apparently a vein inflammation which could lead to two possible scenarios. superficial venous inflammation or the fatal venous thrombosis (blood clots in the veins which could lead to paralysis). its scared the shit outta me sitting along waiting to take my blood tests and ultrascan. with blessings, the blood clots were negative.

thinking to take an early dinner and retiring home to rest the calves, my client called me and expressed utter displeasure at the way i've managed her important event. true enough, my prodigal supplier had outdone himself with the shoddy setup. i truly didn't blame my client one bit cos i would've skinned my agency alive if i was in her shoes. so at 7.30pm, i found myself running between the streets of chinatown looking for oriental tablecloths with my swollen legs. standing in the middle of trengganu street feeling lost and desponent at my desperate attempt at salvaging the poor setup deco, i broke down and cried in the middle of the street with hundred pairs of curious eyes staring.

i've never felt so lousy before and have never shed so many tears in a day in public in my entire life. but i did today. and in front of a truly sweet man. embarrassment poured outta me. but i was really grateful for his company and his strength for that moment. it helped alot sweetie. it did.

bee wrote this at 10:51 PM

2peekaboos

2peekaboos

At 9:30 PM,  adrock2xander said...

Hey Bee...

it's me again...what agency are you workin in anyway?

 

At 10:04 PM,  Anonymous said...

it's a frigging small world out there. so i'm keeping mum. sorry dude.

 

Post a Comment