Friday, November 26, 2004
the dreaded application form
have never given the application form much thought cos it was hardly needed in our line of work really. all we need (advertising) is a glib tongue, quick comebacks, shitloads of personality, good or basic knowledge of campaign briefs and rules 101 (which you'll be equipped with handy adman books) and of cos, look damn fucking good at your interview. (btw, today's International Very Good Looking Damn Smart Woman's Day, see below). it always helps cos you never know what's gonna be the straw between you and girl A (all other qualities and brain equivalent).but in view of a future outta advertising (u never know), i'm gonna attempt filling out a typical form compliments of fellow writer kevin tricorn ng *who's also well versed in kinky stuff ala "guts" review*.
NAME: belynda sim
SEX: would there be a male calling himself belynda? i'll like to meet shim.
DESIRED POSITION: would you give me something which was not advertised? if so, why didn't you put it down huh? why cos its "reserved" for "close friends" isn't it? its NEPOTISM and it's fucking illegal (in my ideal world).
DESIRED SALARY: $120,000 grand a year plus bonus and profit sharing sounds awesome for now. *then again, i reckon only the oil and financial industries could afford this option, so no go huh*
EDUCATION: a bachelor likewise the entire world. *so what makes local undergrads so "proud" and snooty when the entire fucking spore's filled with bachelor's and above?* why in the world do they think they're the best???
LAST POSITION HELD: a slight step higher than where i am now. so what the heck am i doing?
SALARY: always not enuff one lar *rolls eyes*
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: handling short (in height) difficult-to-please male bosses and clients and getting away in one piece. i swear short men are indeed at times smarter and more cunning, dunno why... to make up for the lack in physical height i guess. and making dragon lady bosses happy with your delivery. excellent!
REASON FOR LEAVING: to be politically correct, i WANT to experience a new challenge. to be non PC, yeah it sucked everywhere from the cleaners to the hotshots.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: preferably 9-4pm (hate the human jams)
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: and why would i be doin that may i ask?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: no, but i'll really like one. so thank you in advance. it's a red beetle cabriolet. my first "cute" car.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: i don't know yet. it's not a lack of ambition. it's just the bohemian in me retaliating against the normalcy of a typical singaporean's personal "roadmap" [you must this , you must that or you'll not have enuff money to buy a darn expensive HDB or get married or raise kids or put them through tuition or.....wait, can i revise my desired salary now to $500k per annum as it takes...half a mil to raise each kid here.]
till then, i celebrate
Very Good Looking Damn Smart Woman! Good motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO what a ride! Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away."
*toast to all my babes out there, we rock (for now)*
bee wrote this at 11:02 AM
