Monday, November 29, 2004
mid-day sidetrack
compliments of trish, enjoy!The Genius of Peter Kay
1. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
2. I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
3. Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
4. I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.' this is nasty but i like the twisted humor.
5. You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. me neither
Peter Kay's questions...
1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed? cos their job is to look into your privates and not the exterior.
2. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? rats.
3. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?
4. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
5. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
6. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
7. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window?
Peter Kay's Universal Truths
1. Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. hey! that's true!
2. Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. cos its silly. it's like making expresso in a regular cup.
3. You never know where to look when eating a banana. that's me!
4. You can't respect a man who carries a dog. says who? i think they look sweet, not sissy sweet of cos.
5. There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something. tell me bout it. i'm the first to freak out when rings get stuck on my fingers.
6. People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
oh btw, visited steven lim's updated site http://www.stevenlim.net , this dude rocks. he's better than fabio and i'm feeling mighty inspired to do a campaign for him. what think you tony? pro bono?
*ahahhahahahhahaha*
bee wrote this at 5:17 PM
