Thursday, March 10, 2005
the old journal
was packing old boxes last night and found an old journal from her murdoch days. the journal started during the angtsy days where she was bitter bout almost everything, from school to life to relationships. and how she cried reading the journal knowing how silly she was at times. the denial, the delusional happiness and the bitterness over her newly found independence living abroad. she was very disappointed with herself during the younger days where she thought she wasn't the best cos she:- didn't make it to the gifted program in her snotty girls' school (where most had chauffeurs and came from families of Drs and lawyers)
- didn't make it to privatised secondary schools like most of her mates
- didn't choose to go college cos she failed terribly at written chinese
- didn't excel in poly amidst a stressful group of high achievers and perfectionists (those days were worse than working honestly)
uni changed her life completely. cos for once, she didn't feel the pressure to perform aces. for once, she felt really proud of herself. she fell in love with books all over again. she read, she absorbed, she asked, she learnt and she excelled in her own way. isn't that what education's about? learning new things and applications enabling us to perform as all-rounders and not some dumbfuck who scores 10 As and knows shit bout personality and attitudes? believe me, there are tons of grads here who think they rock cos they are graduates and can talk down to those who've been in the industry for years despite not having a full education. it's saddening to know many young have no form of respect for rich experiences that they could never have until thirty years down the road when they will get dissed by their very own words from the next generation.
life's bittersweet. hell, no one said it was ever easy did they? if it was, it'll probably mean you haven't lived life to its fullest.
bee wrote this at 8:42 AM
