Wednesday, March 30, 2005
the one with gas
she fucking hates gas. unfortunately her body doesn't seem to register that fact and continually gives her a wee bit more gas each time she curses bout it.according to sheila, a colon hydrotherapist, gas is usually caused by:
1. Improper food combinations like combining fruits with complex carbohydrates and complex carbs with protein- CHECK
2. Drinking fluids with meals dilutes the digestive enzymes- CHECK
3. Fast and thoughtless eating without chewing properly- CHECK
4. Excessive fat and protein retard digestion and cause putrefaction like overeating- hullo? UNCHECK
5. Accumulation of waste in the system, slow transit, constipation- with a nervous stomach? UNCHECK
6. Lactose intolerance or the inability to digest milk based sugars- CHECK
7. Allergies- UNCHECK
8. Candida- God forbid. UNCHECK
9. Carbohydrate indigestion or inability to break down complex sugars and starches- possible. CHECK
10. Excess pathogenic bacteria and yeast which feed on undigested food particles- possible. CHECK
11. Insufficient digestive secretions from liver, gall bladder, pancreas, stomach and small intestines hence endocrine imbalance. possible- CHECK
12. Insufficient exercise therefore lack of tone in the abdominal muscles. - CHECK
13. Stress causes shutdown of the alimentary tract - TOTALLY CHECK
and so her recommended remedies are...
1. Use herbs, digestive enzymes, or charcoal. - UNCHECK
2. Exercise with yoga, swimming, and walking. - CHECK
3. Practice breathing exercises and meditate. - CHECK
4. Massage the abdomen. -CHECK
5. Take enemas and/or colon hydrotherapy treatments. - huh? UNCHECK
6. Fast. One of Ghandi's dietary rules is to abstain from eating when in pain. - CHECK
7. Take a hot bath. -CHECK
and some food remedies to relieve digestive disorders, cramps, gas and er-hum, irritable bowel syndrome...
1. ANISE
2. BASIL -eek
3. CELERY -eek
4. GARLIC
5. GINGER
6. OLIVE OIL
7. PAPAYA
8. PEPPERMINT
thanks to sheila and her helpful tips http://www.sheilas.com/bio.html
bee wrote this at 1:45 PM
