Tuesday, October 18, 2005

the one with a heavy heart

took off late mid day and headed off to the other half's place for some together time. was in the midst of picking some sweets at the counter before i leave when our receptionist and financial controller appeared, and so we had a little impromptu chat. the nonsensical conversation started out with the limited candy offerings to finding out about my FC's new job confirmation and that her last day's this friday. i certainly didn't see that coming cos i'd assumed she'll be hanging round till nov for a really good "package" since she's been here 4-5 years. i know i should be feeling happy for her but i can't help this wave of sadness and crumminess rushing towards me. watching your mates cross the finishing line towards a new chapter while you stay in limbo toeing the lines just makes you feel like shit. i can see my faith and confidence wavering as the days go by, wondering if perhaps the problem (not being good enough) lies with me. i know i shouldn't be feeling this way and i keep telling myself i wouldn't be here today if i was crap and that my purpose on earth is not about me but many other unexplainable greater things in life.

thanksgiving for the night: to the big guy up there for the sweetheart he gave her.

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on a truly sadder note, was watching full circle with aunty meow (other half's mom) and teared at aunty monica's story. one would've thought these things only exist in danielle steel's tragic romance novels but no. can you imagine a woman falling in love, giving birth to a new born only to lose the love of her life without the chance to say goodbye?

it's so heartbreaking.

bee wrote this at 8:55 PM

4peekaboos

4peekaboos

At 12:15 AM,  Abigael said...

Hey babe ... hugs :)

I'm keeping my eyes and ears peeled for you. Sometimes good things come to those who wait.

 

At 9:02 AM,  bee said...

thanx babe! :)

 

At 12:45 PM,  Anonymous said...

ooo...i know how it feels to feel as if you're stuck where you are, while everyone you know is moving on, and upwards, bypassing little 'ole you. it makes you question whether you're doing the right thing, whether you're in the right industry, whether there is some logic to whatever's been happening. all i can say is...join the club, babes. heh...

but seriously, i think you're a great person, and you'll find something soon. something that will be perfect, well as perfect as it can be. will keep eyes and ears out for you too. *hugz*

ps. think friend is leaving her job soon. they're looking for a marketing manager for the place. you think that's up your alley?

 

At 4:09 PM,  bee said...

hey babe, thanks heaps *hug hugs too* yeah, the bit bout where you're in the right place doing the right thing. hate feeling that way you know? makes me feel indecisive. shucks.

hmm, your friend..was it the one you messaged me about? the cosmetics firm?

 

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