Sunday, May 07, 2006
having faith
strange how some people can remain close despite not keeping in constant contact with each other.ran into an old colleague cum friend at the timberlux flea market last saturday. they've always had something in common but she can't quite put her finger to it till she was in bed last night that it hit her. they were both going through similar roadblocks in life.
there are some women who are emotional dependent all their lives (the kind that're never single). and there are some who totally shun relationships. and then there are those in between ones who crave companionship yet can't quite decide if relationships are for them at all. it's always nice having someone to return to at the end of the day, someone to cry, laugh and hold onto for that unconditonal support and not be afraid to tell you what a bitch you are at times. but then again, there are times where you feel like you're not living life to its fullest. you could've packed your bags to new york for that culinary course or picked up the courage to start anew abroad without thinking thrice about your actions and its consequences. it's scary as hell thinking the new career may take off at the expense of losing a very cherished one. she's seen many of her friends getting hitched and having little ones, while others were fretting bout when's their turn, would it be before they hit thirty? but she still ain't feeling the heat for legal commitment now, is there something wrong with her? the freaky institution scares her.
the weakest thing about her is risk aversion. be it relationships or work. for years, she's dreamt of being many things. a dress designer, a canvas artist, a non fiction writer (gave that thought up cos she needs a damn good editor to summarise the lengthy work), a fashion editor, a bed and breakfast owner. but she's never worked at those dreams, it's like an empty ambition and the disappointment in her lack of drive is finally getting to her, especially after seeing how an old friend decided to quit the industry after six years and explore new territories.
she's easily swayed and she's not afraid to admit her lack of focus cos there are many out there who, like her, simply don't know exactly what they want out of life. they're no young punks anymore after spending the past thirty years deliberating and are only now beginning to charter a new way of life. after all, it's never too late right?
have faith. success can be created with your own hands if only you believed in yourself.
music: you don't know me, ray charles and norah jones
bee wrote this at 8:36 PM
