i love my job.

its taken me to places and homes i would otherwise not have a chance to on my own - but of late, what's keeping me awake at night is the guilt of being away from my soon to be 8 month old... how do mums who travel so much deal with being away???

having an amazing job and being a mom makes me so excited, happy yet it also makes me want to cry a lot. torn between wanting to put your thoughts down on paper, getting to work on the proposal vs playing peekaboo with your baby or giving him a baby foot massage. i want desperately to do them both but its really trying. what i've ended doing is playing with alex and waking up at four in the morning to finish off the work. its been like this quite often since i've been back at work and god knows  how long of this i can take? or maybe i can? i don't know what's keeping me going so long but perhaps its the ambition and drive of every working mom to keep pushing your own boundaries and see how much you can take?

is it too much to yearn for the carefree spirit of travel? should i take a job that doesn't require me to travel? should i give up an amazing job so i can go home to baby every night? i don't know. difficult decision indeed but i'm keen to think being away from baby every now and then is a good thing - absence makes the heart grow fonder and with each experience away, there's always something i can bring home and share with alex (esp when he grows older) about what life is like beyond singapore.

good to teach a kid why traveling is good for the soul cos it wakes you up to things beyond what books can teach you about life.

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