Monday, June 13, 2005
the family way
am halfway through tony parson's the family way and it got her wondering negatively about her own future. she remembered having a conversation with trish on women, life after the big-o thirty and a future towards an independent- woman deal. we may think that it's ok not getting married, that it's ok not having kids of your own, that it's ok growing old alone as long as you have enough dough to look after yourself. we talked often of foolish women who married useless husbands and ended up feeding for him and his family instead of splurging on themselves (don't laugh, it's REAL). but does this real fear stem from our hidden desperation for company and "family" that we marry the first willing man (and end up in the "foolish women" category after all)?how long can we live a life of singlehood and still be as satisfied as we are right now? how long will we carry on a pseudo lifestyle where we can come and go as we please? how old is old and when do we draw that line to start the family? do we even need a family to be happy? are DINKS not considered proper families? and what happens if we decide to start a family at thirty five and find out that we're barren (the sick irony of money wasted on contraceptives all these years)?
it's amazing how men are valued as they age (like wine) and women are often discarded for jingly young things (like soft drinks, once it loses that fizz, you toss it away and get a new can). the discrimination can never be equalised (not for this century anyway) and until then, she'll live with this fear at the back of her mind.
scary isn't it? perhaps someone should start writing realistic tales other than disney. we could do with some hard ass lessons like:
- there may be no prince in our lives and if there is, it won't be a happily ever after
- like cinderella's prince would up seduced by her stepsisters
- like beauty and the beast not turning into a prince
- like rapunzel trapped in the castle forever
- like sleeping beauty never waking up
like reality.
song on shuffle: tired of being alone, al green
bee wrote this at 9:18 PM
4peekaboos
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At 6:14 AM,
said...
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we get jaded as we grow older about marriage. i rem when i was young all i thought of is marry the guy i love and have kids and ta-da, family life and be happy till you grow old and pass on.
maybe not jaded but like what you said, the realities of life. then again, there are pros and cons to being single, attached and married.
but now i think getting married seems like just a sense of security with a piece of paper for legal status. but yet at the same time, i still believe in marriage.
okies, i'm not making sense from not sleeping. anyways, you can sign up for a xanga account (just do it!) or just leave comments on my chatterbox if you don't want to sign up.
bee said...
jules sweetie, OMG u still remember that? cos we'll walk our dogs together, and if we do get married, we can walk the men together then. *ha!*
sabbie, i've too many different accounts as of now so i shall leave little notes on your chatterbox instead :)
bee said...
opps. i meant walk with our men together...not walk our men...*typo aghast*
bee said...
hahahaha good grief! we are indeed evil *covers mouth in laughter*
