Wednesday, August 17, 2005

the thing called marriage

what does marriage mean to you?
a. an extension of fireworks into one great big celebration of your love to everyone!
b. a means of getting recognised in society as "no longer an old maid" (i'm a fucking missus now!)
c. legally binding partnership where we either have no choice or for personal reasons (career advancement, money and whathaveyous)
d. growing old with someone (may not be fireworks material but with great respect and loving companionship)

for the first time in a very long while, she managed to catch up on a quiet coffee session with the old bud back from indonesia. it's strange yet nice how their friendship had progressed to a mellow and mature form of understanding. she had long suspected his impending wedding this november as one succumbing to family and societal pressures and true enough, it was (sort of). he used to blab bout plans on getting married in his mid thirties when finances and careers are in place but it all took a back seat when he moved back to indonesia "permanently" two years ago. we recognise that medan and singapore are two different worlds. the former still very culturally traditional and the later typically americanised. apparently, the main reason for getting married now was cos 2006 and 2007 are "bad" years on the chinese calendar (clashes with their "pa zi"; chinese horoscope or something). hence its a matter of tying that knot now or 2008 which would've been unfair to her. talk bout modernity! ah well, i'm the yellow rebel so what the fuck do i know about these superstitions?

anyhow, something he said gave her a sense of closure (in a different way).
i: "things would've been different if i were in singapore i reckon"
b: "how so?
i: "the qualities i look for in a woman would've been different."
b: "oh?"
i: "i would've gone for a stronger, independent career woman if i chose to settle here but i can't make the same choice now cos life in indonesia is like a world apart. the role of a wife is more traditional (lead the household and support him at work ala PA). i guess i'm at a stage where someone stable is more important than most other things."
b: (amused)"minus the fiery passion and fireworks which we used to go for when we were younger huh?"
i: (pauses) "yeah, i guess"
b: "guess we all pass that stage at some point in our lives where we get realistic and practical huh?"
i: "yeah, i guess"

so i thought i was the only pessimist.

bee wrote this at 10:36 AM

3peekaboos

3peekaboos

At 1:20 PM,  Janice said...

nah you're not a pessimist. everyone experiences that fireworks, puppy love stuff. it's all part of the learning process :)

 

At 1:42 PM,  bee said...

yeah, guess it is ain't it? hehe

 

At 5:28 PM,  bee said...

i know babe, i know. but until it happens to me, i guess i'll still like to believe that it (good things) may happen to me after all.

 

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