Wednesday, March 06, 2013
the guilt of a working mum
i love my job.
its taken me to places and homes i would otherwise not have a chance to on my own - but of late, what's keeping me awake at night is the guilt of being away from my soon to be 8 month old... how do mums who travel so much deal with being away???
having an amazing job and being a mom makes me so excited, happy yet it also makes me want to cry a lot. torn between wanting to put your thoughts down on paper, getting to work on the proposal vs playing peekaboo with your baby or giving him a baby foot massage. i want desperately to do them both but its really trying. what i've ended doing is playing with alex and waking up at four in the morning to finish off the work. its been like this quite often since i've been back at work and god knows how long of this i can take? or maybe i can? i don't know what's keeping me going so long but perhaps its the ambition and drive of every working mom to keep pushing your own boundaries and see how much you can take?
is it too much to yearn for the carefree spirit of travel? should i take a job that doesn't require me to travel? should i give up an amazing job so i can go home to baby every night? i don't know. difficult decision indeed but i'm keen to think being away from baby every now and then is a good thing - absence makes the heart grow fonder and with each experience away, there's always something i can bring home and share with alex (esp when he grows older) about what life is like beyond singapore.
good to teach a kid why traveling is good for the soul cos it wakes you up to things beyond what books can teach you about life.
...
its taken me to places and homes i would otherwise not have a chance to on my own - but of late, what's keeping me awake at night is the guilt of being away from my soon to be 8 month old... how do mums who travel so much deal with being away???
having an amazing job and being a mom makes me so excited, happy yet it also makes me want to cry a lot. torn between wanting to put your thoughts down on paper, getting to work on the proposal vs playing peekaboo with your baby or giving him a baby foot massage. i want desperately to do them both but its really trying. what i've ended doing is playing with alex and waking up at four in the morning to finish off the work. its been like this quite often since i've been back at work and god knows how long of this i can take? or maybe i can? i don't know what's keeping me going so long but perhaps its the ambition and drive of every working mom to keep pushing your own boundaries and see how much you can take?
is it too much to yearn for the carefree spirit of travel? should i take a job that doesn't require me to travel? should i give up an amazing job so i can go home to baby every night? i don't know. difficult decision indeed but i'm keen to think being away from baby every now and then is a good thing - absence makes the heart grow fonder and with each experience away, there's always something i can bring home and share with alex (esp when he grows older) about what life is like beyond singapore.
good to teach a kid why traveling is good for the soul cos it wakes you up to things beyond what books can teach you about life.
...
bee wrote this at 12:29 PM
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
the road not taken
there're often times where we find ourselves so familiar with a particular environment we no longer question why we do what we're doing anymorebut that's not quite how she envisioned life to be. not how she wanted to wake up everyday and end the day with wondering if this is it
she always believed that if you start asking yourself if this is it, it simply means it isn't enough
she wanted something bigger. something more inspiring. something more passionate. something that would make her wake up with excitement and the stupid grin everyday
her much loved robert frost talks about the road not taken. more and more so, she's finding herself wondering what life would be if she'd taken the other path? what would you do if you've walked so close to the end of the road to realise its the wrong way? do you beat yourself up over it for making the wrong decision or would you walk right through it anyway and see what it brings?
bee wrote this at 9:40 AM
Monday, September 07, 2009
chimp art
apart from dabbling in instrumental hiphop, am into chimp art now, you'll probably find more on weburbanist graffiti and art sections.
bee wrote this at 9:04 AM
leave me alone.
the last thing you need a fresh monday morning is someone telling you how to do your job.fucking annoying.
bee wrote this at 9:00 AM
Friday, June 19, 2009
About wedding photography
i just love the old school charm of black and white (reminds her of mafia) and indulging in formal pre wedding pictures with people that matter.bee wrote this at 4:54 PM
THE bouquet
bee wrote this at 4:47 PM
THE dresses
perfect wedding dressesbee wrote this at 4:44 PM
Thursday, June 18, 2009
we've come a long way
its been 6 years.and we're celebrating that and growing old together as mr and mrs mak.
bee wrote this at 9:04 AM
about women in their 30s and best friends
location: dinner @ jones the grocerdate: 16th june 2009
mood? silly, happy, nostalgic
when i was in my teens, mom used to tell me girlfriends are the most important thing for every woman to have. guessed i never quite understood that until i've hit my 30s last year.
the 4 of us have been friends for more than a decade.
celine since i was 13...
trish since i was 17...
tam when i was 19...
despite meeting all 3 at different phases of my life, perth was where we all bonded. it was a time where we saw each other through the ups and downs, the things we didn't do and wished we did, the things we did and wished we didn't do (ha). and if i had enough money, i'd brought them back to perth before bali for a "hen's night" getaway.
anyway, back to the evening.
we were awfully giggly that evening (sans booze). dinner conversation was utterly random. it hovered over men and blind dates gone wrong (could swear celine's got the most interesting dating stories), baby updates, work, coining singlish army code names to buying 4D on trish's new car plate number to debating about the origins of creme fraish.
we've decided to make our sporadic dinner occasions into a monthly ritual because as silly as the evening was, it made us realise how refreshing a little female sanity check with old friends can be. they're not afraid to tell it like it is.
i love old friends, they keep you in check.
bee wrote this at 8:18 AM
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
pretty beach house tucked away in NSW
its absolutely breathtaking.
bee wrote this at 5:46 PM
cherub tatts
been seeing alot of cherub designs but i still like this best for its forlorn expressionbee wrote this at 5:43 PM
silly me.
have actually stopped blogging for so long that i've forgotten the login and password.*silly*
bee wrote this at 5:42 PM
Thursday, January 31, 2008
naumi
another new chic small luxury hotel we can be proud of, the naumi @ seah street. owned by the hind group, naumi has only 40 rooms that come with a ladies only floor/suites filled with satin accessories, aromatherapy and aesop skincare products...awww...
its the answer to any female road warrior looking for a recharge.
bee wrote this at 9:58 AM
its 30 this year
haha. found an excellent old post on women hitting the big 3-0 by andy rooney. its worth a good read again!- A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask,"What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think
- If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting
- A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she's doing
- Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course,if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it
- Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated
- A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her bestfriend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her
- Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know
- Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her
Yes, women over 30 are praised for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realise it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage."
haha, how i love prolific writers!
bee wrote this at 9:22 AM
about awesome tattoos
by tattoo magu's man, she does awesome work with soft pretty colors
this is by kami (also from tattoo magu), absolutely love the shading work
can't remember where she found this but its been one of her favourites for the longest time. the design itself is not unique but the placement of it and how it sits so naturally near the arch is lovelybee wrote this at 9:11 AM
about random thoughts
what's funny to you may not be to others. we can giggle about someone's really weird choice of haircut for one day but there is no need to crucify a person forever by immortalizing their haircut "fiasco" in the agency newsletter. its nasty and hurtful to make someone feel like they are the joke even though they should have known better.ad agencies can be such unforgiving places.
__________________________________________________________________
the father should be christian-ed prime minister of everybody's affairs. he NEEDS to have an opinion on everything, and 99.99% of the time, he's right and you're wrong. For the simplest reason, he's FATHER and you, the little one obviously ain't know any better.
people should do this, people should do that, why can't people do this, why can't people do that...
...
__________________________________________________________________
chinese astrology can be so amazingly conflicting she's stopped reading it.
bee wrote this at 8:43 AM
Friday, January 25, 2008
0.5 degrees of separation
she got a call from her ex CD about 3 days ago.f: "guess who just joined us at my agency bel?"
b: "who? who? oh no, not the ex client turned pseudo writer!!!"
f: "no. its the other one, ms D.Y."
b: "...O..M...G..."
talk about a fucking small world.
you really never know when you're gonna meet the fear of your life at times.
bee wrote this at 10:02 AM
the darn emoticons
its amazing how an emoticon's able to express what you feel faster and better than a string of words.damn.
bee wrote this at 8:46 AM
Monday, January 21, 2008
about expectations
she's a victim of the expectation economy.she's been through the sweet, the bittersweet and sometimes, sour moments.
so pls don't fucking blame her for having all these preconceived notions of how things should be in her ideal world.
bee wrote this at 9:26 AM
the montage melbourne
chic new apartments in melbourne. too bad its bout $100k off her 1 bed + 1 study budget.
darn.
bee wrote this at 9:05 AM
Thursday, January 17, 2008
the world is watching you fool
ok, she's going to break her new year resolution of no bitching. figured she's not a very nice person and shouldn't try to pretend like one (but it was good while it lasted anyway).its amazing how some people are so naive to think they can go on medical leave at least once a week, disappear throughout the most crucial periods when they are most needed and think they can get away with it. er...hello?
she once told a writer: "XX will rise to the occasion (pause) ... by taking leave"
this theory is apparently applicable to a few people, including the one who sings off key while banging at the keyboard at 100 decibels per second on MSN.
honestly, you get what you give.
bee wrote this at 9:29 AM
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
about macbook air
bee wrote this at 9:14 AM
about a planner's nightmare
bee wrote this at 9:07 AM
about naggy stuffy fathers
if there's anything to piss her off first thing in the morning, its the pseudo master and his never ending naggism.when you make a point once, its ok. twice repeated, its tolerable. thrice repeated, its irritating. but going on and on for the rest of a 20 minute car drive? FUCKING ANNOYING.
she dreads conversations with the father cos he's always quick to assume and the sanctimonious attitude always brings out the ugliest in her, particularly with her impatience. she always walks away feeling like the brat who didn't know how to show respect to fathers. argh.
thank god for sweet kind mommies.
she wants little girls, not little boys.
boys are e.v.i.l.
bee wrote this at 8:50 AM
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
industrial jewellery
concrete and diamonds from sue dorman
concrete from tam aura
stainless steel and diamonds from konzuk
check out gallery flux for more art inspired jewellery and coolhunting for creative pieces
bee wrote this at 5:24 PM
Monday, January 14, 2008
some people never change
just found an old entry (repeated below)... funnily enough she's still inspired and traumatised by the same things.inspiration: grace jones. sadness. grannies. poets
phobias: being disfigured. claustrophobia. war
childhood dream: artist. fashion designer. lawyer. writer
childhood nightmare: being alone (probably the reason why i am legend freaked her out)
collects: vintage bags. female portrait spreads. quotes
loves: orchestras. shoes. operas. books. zine magazines. japanese animation by mamoru oshi, katsuhiro otomo and osamu tezuka. noir films
appreciates: considerate people. integrity. being loved. self-indulgence
never wears: platforms. hotpants
always in: birkies. granny stuff
inspiration from grace jones that still puts a smile on her face
[MEN ARE TERRIFIED OF ME. I CAN EASILY STEP INTO THE MAN’S SHOE, AND THAT PUTS THE MAN IN A POSITION WHERE HE HAS TO BECOME THE FEMALE. THAT'S WHAT SETS OFF THE TENSION. BUT MY IMAGE IS SUPPOSED TO FRIGHTEN MEN - SO ONLY THE GOOD ONES COME THROUGH.]
bee wrote this at 5:03 PM
random thought- fuss free travel
it would cost them $8,600 for a 13-day/9 nights (based on 2 to go) for a south america outing to chile, argentina and brazil but at least it takes the worry bout getting accomodations, day travel and food sorted.sometimes, its just nice to relax and leave it to the pros for a fuss free travel.
bee wrote this at 12:02 PM
about sleeping in new york
its almost impossible finding cheap chic in new york...the best bets so far are:
gershwin hotel , artsy pad
hotel QT by andre balazs
the pod hotel, budget never looked this good
bee wrote this at 10:33 AM
Friday, January 11, 2008
about REALLY weird things
it all started with ernie and shumei while we were all chilling under the tree at mr van der beek's place on xmas eve.go check out 2girls1cup on google. it's sick but you have to watch they said, the reaction videos of people who've watched the site (on youtube) is priceless.
so they piqued our curiosity, and we watched.
hahaha. they failed to warn mak the contents may make him throw up. anyhow, the other half walked out after catching 5 seconds worth of footage. as i was watching the 3 videos, i was trying to figure out at the same time if this shit (literally) is for real, how can they possibly enjoy what they're doing i absolutely cannot imagine.
copraphilia sure is weird. only for the select few sia.
watch it ONLY if you have a strong stomach.
bee wrote this at 8:54 AM
Thursday, January 10, 2008
dwelling in the home of your dreams
one of the drivers why she chose to move out of singapore. at least there's a chance she might get to own one of these 10 years from now if she works hard.bee wrote this at 11:36 AM
brilliant earth's conflict free diamonds
bee wrote this at 11:31 AM
new year, new start
she's finally decided to open up her blog again.new year, new resolutions.
one of which is to be less angry and more zen. so no more bitching!
ha.
bee wrote this at 11:16 AM
wall art
bee wrote this at 11:05 AM
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Capoeira
the beauty of capoeira's fluid movements.
damn. wished she could do that too
bee wrote this at 11:38 AM
about perth
lovely piece of oil at the perth royal show
dinner at matsuri, her absolute fav
us at freo
words of wisdom as always from the fairy shop
oysters from kailis, HEAVEN.
next time you're looking for fresh affordable seafood in freo, go to kailis
at the freo beach
more fun at the perth royal showthe best vacations are the ones where you do absolutely nothing.
bee wrote this at 9:01 AM
Friday, September 21, 2007
maya prass
her favorite designer of the moment.absolutely love the gorgeous prints, fabric and style.
bee wrote this at 2:15 PM
about zingara cucina
these days, its all about UNavailability that rocks.bee wrote this at 2:08 PM
about 40 bond in NYC
ian schrager bringing ARTchitecture.awesome.
bee wrote this at 1:58 PM
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
about erica
baby erica. super cute!bee wrote this at 2:58 PM
Thursday, July 19, 2007
about new forms of tourism
grief tourism.perhaps not something new but definitely more prominent now...
bee wrote this at 9:54 AM
Monday, July 16, 2007
the evils of OPERATION SKIP INTERN
pre-lunch conversation over MSN...this is what happens when you're trying to avoid playing nanny to an eager beaver intern 5 days a week.
trishy says (12:22 PM):
let's leave!
bel says (12:22 PM):
shhhhhh
bel says (12:23 PM):
i was talking bout lunch with jehil and i saw angela looking at me again
trishy says (12:23 PM):
no!
bel says (12:23 PM):
so i avoided all eye contact, feel damn mean but...
trishy says (12:23 PM):
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA, she's sure to ask us anyway
bel says (12:23 PM):
anyway...leehuang stuck in 2min talk with david...so we wait about 4min more?
trishy says (12:23 PM):
okies
bel says (12:23 PM):
i could see her looking at me waiting for me to ask only
trishy says (12:24 PM):
she ll juz say wru gals gg, can i come
Just as we were keeping it hush, fran shouts across the room, HEY WHERE YOU GUYS GOING FOR LUNCH?
franncesca has been added to the conversation.
trishy says (12:25 PM):
TOO LOUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
trishy says (12:25 PM):
UR DUM!!!
franncesca says (12:25 PM):
shuddup
franncesca says (12:25 PM):
who's dum?
trishy says (12:25 PM):
U!!!!! ur dum
bel says (12:23 PM):
i was talking bout lunch with jehil and i saw angela looking at me so i avoided all eye contact
franncesca says (12:25 PM):
ohhhhhhhhhh
J * HILL has been added to the conversation.
franncesca says (12:25 PM):
sorry
trishy says (12:25 PM):
ur DUMB
franncesca says (12:25 PM):
so how not asking the intern for lunchie la
franncesca says (12:26 PM):
trish hates intern HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHA
franncesca says (12:26 PM):
LIES!
trishy says (12:26 PM):
LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
trishy says (12:26 PM):
LIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
franncesca says (12:26 PM):
no luv
bel says (12:26 PM):
so hard to find place at kremas for so many people lah!!!
trishy says (12:26 PM):
im hungry lets go, bel and i leave first
J * HILL says (12:26 PM):
I go for briefing first
trishy says (12:26 PM):
plan plan
J * HILL says (12:26 PM):
trish, wait for me
trishy says (12:27 PM):
why? im hungry
trishy says (12:27 PM):
i wanna go NOW
bel says (12:27 PM):
ok trish i go with you first
bel says (12:27 PM):
jehil, you go with LH, fran, we see you at lift
franncesca says (12:27 PM):
i wait for jehil la
franncesca says (12:27 PM):
u all go chop seats
trishy says (12:27 PM):
now laaaa
franncesca says (12:27 PM):
oh so i goin now ah
trishy says (12:27 PM):
how to chop seats for 3 ppl??
trishy says (12:27 PM):
come now
franncesca says (12:27 PM):
jehil alone, you gonna ask the intern?
bel says (12:27 PM):
this lunch is named OPERATION SKIP INTERN
franncesca says (12:27 PM):
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHHAHAHHAHAH EVIL BASTARDS
trishy says (12:27 PM):
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
franncesca says (12:27 PM):
i love it@
trishy says (12:28 PM):
bel la
franncesca says (12:28 PM):
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHHA
trishy says (12:28 PM):
not me
franncesca says (12:28 PM):
bel so mean
franncesca says (12:28 PM):
AHAHHAH ure the instigator ah trish
trishy says (12:28 PM):
puei! not me
bel says (12:28 PM):
TRISH we go first?
trishy says (12:29 PM):
okies
bel says (12:29 PM):
fran, you bring LH along? she's with david now
trishy says (12:29 PM):
frans cmg too
trishy says (12:29 PM):
nooo
franncesca says (12:29 PM):
oh so how?
franncesca says (12:29 PM):
do i come now or later u bitches
trishy says (12:29 PM):
juz comeeeeee
trishy says (12:29 PM):
NOWWW
franncesca says (12:29 PM):
then LH?
trishy says (12:29 PM):
how to chop seats for 3 ppl??
trishy says (12:29 PM):
are we talking in circles!
trishy says (12:29 PM):
LH ll go w JEHIL
bel says (12:29 PM):
i messaged LH already, told her we'll go first
bel says (12:30 PM):
bel is walking out NOW
trishy says (12:30 PM):
okok
trishy says (12:30 PM):
dumb lets
trishy has left the conversation.
franncesca says (12:30 PM):
oh okie
franncesca says (12:30 PM):
dammit
franncesca says (12:30 PM):
okie byeeeeee
J * HILL has left the conversation.
and it took us 8 minutes to carry out this operation.
bee wrote this at 1:53 PM
Thursday, July 05, 2007
the bali nusa dua escape
yummy lunch
doesn't feel like bali does it?
discovered babybel cheese, farking cute
being cheesy. jehil, me and alvin
jehil and leehuang
bee wrote this at 3:04 PM
fooling around at alex's farewell
alice, me, fran and weekim
infamous chopstick sisters chels and trish (both tall and superslim)
uber hum sap (weekim on the left) and VIP of the night, alex and endless sakes, umeshu and asahi
rocker yana and designer celeste
alex, jackie, me and frannybee wrote this at 9:32 AM
